Lord Brandon vs. The Green Goblin

This morning I woke up to a giant wasp building a nest on my terrace. I've seen this type of thing before growing up in Minnesota, but what made this so special was the fact that the wasp was lime green in color and about the size of a thumb. My first thought was to leave it be (not a pun), but I decided I would take action. After all, the majority of pest control employees have much less education than I do.

My second thought was how to take this Green Goblin down. I looked around at my surroundings to find a possible tool for the execution. To my left was a broken broom stick, to my right was a chain that I use to hang up clothes to dry in the sun, down were my sandals and up was the Green Goblin. For 10 minutes I looked back and forth at the green monster and my sandals. It occurred to me that I wouldn't want my worst enemy to be within an arms reach, let alone myself. I consulted my roommate, but he wasn't any help. Then I spotted it...a 6ft mop.

I moistened end of the mop and headed up to my room for a coat of armor. I found a thin hooded sweatshirt, sunglasses, jeans and my pumas. I was off to battle. It was 90+ degrees on that terrace and I was nervous, so I thought to myself...a blind man with a cold could have seen and smelt my perspiration. I watched the enemy with a close eye spinning his or her new castle just above my window while pondering the outcome of what I was about to embark on.

The way I seen it, I could charge and joust the little bastard off the roof into next week. Or, more likely, I would miss and he would sting my unprotected hands and face many times. With the courage of a lion, I lifted my moist mop and charged the Green Goblin. After impact with the wall, I wasn't quite sure if he used his teleportation power to one-up me or if he was somewhere within the mop's powerful grip. As quick as I raised the mop, I lowered it to the ground, jumped on it several times and lifted it to find victory. He was badly disoriented, wounded and I'd like to believe crying as well. Hail to the king of the terrace.