The Teacher Brandon Experience

Lord Brandon vs. The Green Goblin

2010-04-18T15:04:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up to a giant wasp building a nest on my terrace. I've seen this type of thing before growing up in Minnesota, but what made this so special was the fact that the wasp was lime green in color and about the size of a thumb. My first thought was to leave it be (not a pun), but I decided I would take action. After all, the majority of pest control employees have much less education than I do.

My second thought was how to take this Green Goblin down. I looked around at my surroundings to find a possible tool for the execution. To my left was a broken broom stick, to my right was a chain that I use to hang up clothes to dry in the sun, down were my sandals and up was the Green Goblin. For 10 minutes I looked back and forth at the green monster and my sandals. It occurred to me that I wouldn't want my worst enemy to be within an arms reach, let alone myself. I consulted my roommate, but he wasn't any help. Then I spotted it...a 6ft mop.

I moistened end of the mop and headed up to my room for a coat of armor. I found a thin hooded sweatshirt, sunglasses, jeans and my pumas. I was off to battle. It was 90+ degrees on that terrace and I was nervous, so I thought to myself...a blind man with a cold could have seen and smelt my perspiration. I watched the enemy with a close eye spinning his or her new castle just above my window while pondering the outcome of what I was about to embark on.

The way I seen it, I could charge and joust the little bastard off the roof into next week. Or, more likely, I would miss and he would sting my unprotected hands and face many times. With the courage of a lion, I lifted my moist mop and charged the Green Goblin. After impact with the wall, I wasn't quite sure if he used his teleportation power to one-up me or if he was somewhere within the mop's powerful grip. As quick as I raised the mop, I lowered it to the ground, jumped on it several times and lifted it to find victory. He was badly disoriented, wounded and I'd like to believe crying as well. Hail to the king of the terrace.

Erecting the Christmas tree in the tropics

2009-11-28T11:56:00.000-08:00

Did you ever wonder quietly to yourself "what kind of Christmas trees do they use in Colombia?" I hope not. If so, I might just ask you to play a game of "finger - toe". Back on topic. We spent the majority of our time this morning going through mounds of Christmas boxes and decorating the entire house - much like we do back in the states. I was very enthusiastic.

I found this little guy in my bathroom this morning. It's awkward taking a pee while someone is watching.

Pereira and Salento

2009-11-26T14:45:00.001-08:00

Although the link"10 days in Colombia" is no longer fitting for my blog, it serves its purpose and has some sentimental value attached to it. (that's a complex sentance, using "although" as a subordinator connecting an independant clause with two dependant clauses...gotta love English) I've been living here for 59 days and enjoying the best Colombia has to offer. The food is great, the beer is better (Club Colombia is premo) and the women make you move half way around the globe. Below are some pictures of a recent trip I took to Pereira, a city of about a million folks, and to Salento a neighboring town.

Landscape from Cali to Pereira:

Ton's of signs telling you to watch out for the falling rocks.

It looks like corn, but it's sugar cane.

Not sure what they're growing here.

More sugar cane.

I guess every once in a while they let the animals on to the farm land to fertilize the area.

Natural palm trees everywhere.

Here's an old Renault that everyone hates here...but I dig it.

Salento was settled in the foothills of the western Andes mountain range and has become quite the tourist destination. From the pictures, you'll see the brilliant archetecture and colors that seem to bring this little town alive.

Me, Louisa (Jonathan's girlfriend), Martha (Jonathan's Mom) and Diana

Louisa, Jonathan, Marth, Diana climbing the mountain.

Arm pits.

Jonathan, Louisa, Martha and Diana.

A slide on the top of the mountain...sweet.

The palms you see below are wax palms. They're HUGE and apparently going extinct.

Me, Marth, Jonathan and Louisa in Salento

Some of these beautiful houses were made partially out of animal poop. Seriously. It puts a whole new meaning to "brick shit house".

An old drunk guy at a local bar in Salento, passed out at 11:30am. Take that Moorhead State Alum.

Pereira:

Pereira has a pretty amazing skyline.

Louisa, Diana and I at a famous church (I'm not sure if it's famous or not, but it's nice)

Overlooking Pereira at night. They have swing-sets up there to use if you want to live dangerously.

Speaking of swing-sets, Lousia took the risk.

Little bar in Pereira.

Diana's drunk.

Quick post with Pics from Cali

2009-11-01T16:36:00.000-08:00

Burning, peeling and then buring again. Life is good. See some pictures below. The first one is from Halloween, the next few are of Diana's house and the last one and video are of my apartment in Cali. Let me know what you think.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick....tock.

2008-11-03T20:29:00.000-08:00

Ok, so. Both you and I realize that I'm not the best blogger. 24 days and counting (16 or which are working days). Up until last week, I didn't have a place to stay. My first thought was: homeless - - - not again. Second thought was: homeless in Colombia? - - - rock on. Well, homelessness no more. Diana is 100% sure, 90% of the time that I'm staying with her and her family in their apartment. From what I gather, all other resources have been exhausted and they have to take me in. I think I could fend for pretty well for myself on the streets, but I'm not sure Cali is ready for that quite yet. Just kidding. But seriously. Itinerary and trip plans are to come after this regularly scheduled announcement.

Time is relative

2008-10-05T22:16:00.000-07:00

Simply put, all that I could think about these last 40 days was being in Colombia. I'm not exactly sure where the days went or even what transpired. Either time is relative, or I have serious mind powers; I'd like to believe the latter. In June and July 2008, I spent 7 days in Colombia, which seemed to last an eternity. Add three days to an eternity and that's the amount of time I'll be spending there this time around - rock on.

Today I bought a new luggage bag.

The salesman told me it was the "Mercedes-Benz of Luggage bags" holding 4000 cu inches, and of course, I had to buy it. 4000 cu inches would mean nothing to me if I hadn't travelled around Central America with my life in a bag for 2 1/2 weeks on 3900 cu inches. I'm planning on bringing a few things to Colombia for Diana and her family. I hope space is also relative. Or I'll have to fall back on the mind powers :).

93 days until take off

2008-08-26T22:22:00.000-07:00

The first entry is always the most difficult. It begins with an explanation of what your blog is about and such. But, I'm going to keep it the first entry short and sweet...I'm leaving the country. "Where" you might ask? I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Cali, Colombia.

This will be my second trip Colombia in less than 7 months. "Why?" you might also ask. I'll also tell you why. I met this little philly, who pretty much rocked my world. I know it's only rock 'n roll, but I like it.